fall rain love

"Where's the promised happiness?" That's the translation of my title. I pity myself for unable to move on even after almost one year. Last year, grandpa had blood transfusion. It took the hospital so long until they finally start the procedure. I clearly remember grandpa was admitted on Saturday night and they took lotsa blood and examine here and there. The next morning, results came out and stated that grandpa needed blood badly. I went to the hospital in the afternoon and still greeted by his smile and very special way of calling me. My grandpa had been hospitalised numerous times before but last time he disliked the  infusion so bad that he kept wanting to plug them off. I even bought the soothing gel which my ex student used to have because he said that his hands are so painful and itchy sometimes.  Yesterday the whole family did the yearly prayer for grandpa and i was trying to be okay without thinking or regretting that i should be there. All i could

Why should I feel uneasy when it's not even my business. I think it's time to go to the temple and wash off my karma. Wtf. The time when you wanna go bald is when you are not supposed to know anything but you really want to know and after knowing, you gonna be very irritated. Still deep inside you really wanna know. WTF. Why oh why. It's unlike myself. I know people change but i think this is too much.. Both in a good and bad way.. I can't tell anyone because i know people gonna think that i'm selfish but at the sAme time they'll say "it's okay. That's normal." Xx, F.r.l. With mixed feelings

But not so guilty. Tat cheese tho. Xx,  F.r.l. Having 28 grams sugar served in a canned iced peach tea. 

Time flies. fast. I notice the past two weeks i've been going out and walking around with company. earlier today, i walked by myself and i felt sth is missing. wtf. i guess i change a lot. where's the little me that don't care about others and wanting to have me-time all the time of my life. Anyway, today the daylight saving starts, which means that now MELB-INDO are 4 hours apart. School's going to start pretty soon. Nothing's new, i'm still lazy. Tell you what, nowadays i feel so happy that i'm scared. It's like i'm expecting and trying my best to think, what gonna break my happiness this time. I know i sound awful but yea. Today mi boyfriends gave mi bff an early birthday surpise. Secretly hoping i was there together with them but life is life and life is unfair.  You know your friendship aged when surprises always held in a car and you don't even bothered to get a proper candle.  We asked this girl, no technically i did, wh

Despite going out on friday night, I'm online from my bed because i feel sick. It may be bcs i did matrial arts this morning( ahem, yea i'm doing martial arts now) or my unhealthy but filling eating pattern. Believe it or not, 6 months here, i've gained weight more than 5kgs. Okay, where's my standing ovation? So finally you know why am i a super fatty now? And where all of my moneiz goes to. Not to mention, that's the only food that i don't forget to take pictures of. Sometimes, tummy can't cooperate with you, not even for 10 secs. 😉 Xx, F.r.l. is in the mood of blogging