I sent a postcard to my grandma last month and i think that i should send kong kong one too but i don't know where to send so..
Hello Kong,
How's things? It's been a quite while since you left us and i'm glad that now pho is not that lonely anymore since her sister moved in together with her. Yea, 五姨婆 is very kind i know..
I'm happy to say that i don't dream of you and waking up with blocked nose and sore eyes anymore.
I often wonder why is it so hard for me to move on from your death since till now i refuse to wear red. I feel like red color is too happy for me. Nonsense yea i know..
People always regretted for not spending more time after one passed away.
During your hospitalised times, my dad kept on telling me to spend more time with you. I did,didn't I?
I spent most of my times over the hospital, even asked my friends to hang out in front of the room.
I hate to admit but yea, even doctors gave signals for us to just bring you home and let you rest somemore. I thought it's okay medan doctor no good.. After your condition is much stable, mom and aunties gonna bring you overseas. At that time, I looked high up on you , thinking that this will be another serial of you hospitalised.
Yet, you are a true fighter, on 2006 you undergone nose and heart surgery at the same time.
During 2011/2012 you were hospitalised numerous times before you spent one whole month in Singapore. Days were not easy, one day you are in the ICU, another day you had to stay in HDU which is no good. But you survived and made it home with us. :)
Another time is when you had nosebleed and doctor's medicine couldn't stop the blood until what came out from your nose is blood clots. You looked at me and said "Tian, i think i'm going to die" Finally after 8 hours or so, the blood stopped and you are still alive.
There was once where grandma woke up and found you on the floor lying down doing nothing when at that time, it was merely impossible for you to wake up from bed without any help.
Not forgetting the time when my grandma was hypnotised by some asshole prank callers saying that they needed a big fat juicy amount of money to release my uncle from jail. Nobody was home at that time. Helper kakak must be doing some chores over 3rd floor. My grandma panicked and told you about it. From what my uncle in law saw was you with your very weak legs half squat-ing in front of your safety box with the door open and my grandma weeping by your side. The first words that came out of my grandpa mouth was " i got no money left here. My son is in a danger" which of course puzzled my uncle in law who was just planning to checked you guys out. ( most of our family live nearby grandpa's house) Later that night, all of us gathered and realised that for years, the safety box couldn't be opened without a key because you forgot the combination but that afternoon, you did it.
Also during my birthday you walked without your stick and went to the bathroom outside of your room although you usually bath inside your bedroom because its made for your convenience and told everyone you're getting ready for my birthday. That day you regained your memories too. It's like you woke up from dream and never been sick before. And it became a dream to everyone else.
To sum up, let's just say that i'm too positive minded and thought that you could make it too. Yea, sadly i am that kind of person. And it took more than a year for me to realise this. What i hate the most is i know that i am wrong but I couldn't do anything about it.. Thats what behind my sleepless night, sudden thought of our good times, wanting to turn time back and so on. I assumed that after that sleepless night in the hospital gonna worth your i-am-back-home smile again. Who knows this time you went to the different home. I appreciate your presence as my grandpa and i promise, i'll make it up in our next life together.
I love you, kong. I really do. I cant see you anymore not even in my dreams but you have that spot in my brain and heart that no matter what i do, did or done in life, i'll always think of you. Just like how the magnum in my freezer and my crazy thought. Happy 2016 and please stop worrying about grandma now, she's a strong woman we both know.
Xx,
Frl's first confession of her wrongdoings.
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