說好的幸福呢

"Where's the promised happiness?"

That's the translation of my title.

I pity myself for unable to move on even after almost one year. Last year, grandpa had blood transfusion. It took the hospital so long until they finally start the procedure. I clearly remember grandpa was admitted on Saturday night and they took lotsa blood and examine here and there. The next morning, results came out and stated that grandpa needed blood badly. I went to the hospital in the afternoon and still greeted by his smile and very special way of calling me. My grandpa had been hospitalised numerous times before but last time he disliked the  infusion so bad that he kept wanting to plug them off. I even bought the soothing gel which my ex student used to have because he said that his hands are so painful and itchy sometimes. 

Yesterday the whole family did the yearly prayer for grandpa and i was trying to be okay without thinking or regretting that i should be there. All i could think of is "He's not with us anymore. It's okay i can pray from here. No big deal." And last but not least " It's just to follow and respect the culture, that won't bring him back" 

Truth hurts but life must carry on. I got that idea in mind. I just haven't found out how. 

The funny thing is on 2009 grandpa was sick too that we held a potluck party celebrating his days recovering from home. 

Thank you facebook, thank you timehop.

Except him, you guys are the thing that i look forward to every morning nowadays. 

That's why i love posting something important or unimportant or just things i wanna see in the next few years on my social media accounts. 

Xx,

F.r.l. Still loving 說好的幸福呢 song