11 months

Today 📍 exactly 11 months since my grandpa passed away. Moving to Melbourne help me to stop mourning all the time. Nowadays i don't even mind to put on bright colors garments as i used to put on the white tee back and forth till its yellowish. Lol.

I wonder how others are doing. Do they still think of grandpa? Do they still secretly cry during their sleep time because of missing him? Do they dream of grandpa?

My grandma is currently in Surabaya. I bet she doesn't even know today's 11 months. She used to count the days as they need to do some Buddhism prayers.  

Next month, 🚩 one year, family gonna gather then do some prayers too. Ireally  wanted to go back but dad told me 

"Why bother going back when you are even not there celebrating grandma's birthday" 

So yeah, i ended up staying back here and surprisingly the girl that kept saying that she wanted to go back once her studies finished is not here anymore. It's not that i get influenced easily but sometimes, no it's most of the times, i can't say no to daddy. Except him asking me to eat my medicine regularly, i've been listening and following all his words and commands.

One fine day during our family dinner here (my parents visited us because my sis' graduation) he spoke up to me and my sis 

"How nice and beautiful it will be if two sisters can stay here and take care of each other for now and future." 

One sentence from daddy is more than enough for me to change my life plan that i've decided way before i came. That's how i love and appreciate him.

Yea, my sis doesn't plan to go back home. She's currently stuck working with me in a restaurant whilst finding a proper job. 

I never confessed how i miss home but yea, the past 5 months are not easy for me. How i miss spending weekends with bffs and babies. Waking up at 12 and only needing to ask dad what to eat today. Sigh. I never realised how lucky i was back then. I always said that i'm blessed and grateful but now is the time that i really know. 

Few days ago, i called my grandma and it seems like she even doesn't really need me anymore. After 7 mins of our call, she told me that she wanna pray edi so she hung me up. It may sound melancholic but it really hurts tho. How my grandma used to spend more than 30mins of her time saying the same things over, old stories, which kind of boyfriend to get, and stories about my BILs. I miss her and i can't go back home, somemore calls are to be found annoying. Wtf. Don't pity me. I'm still okay as for now i'm so busy with myself thinking what to have for brunch the next morning, everyday. 

I feel like i'm changing as i don't even bothered to do make up nowadays, i eat like a lazy pig,sleep like a polar bear, and play like a patrick star.

Anyway to sum up, life's never been better when you live it with the loved ones. :) 

Xx,

F.r.l. Waking up because september ends