Born with a significant age gap with elder sisters successfully made me different from others. Well, put aside the fact that i love barbie and all of those kids stuff, i'm quite smaaaart. My class teacher was shocked when my mom told her that i was a very clingy and dependent person at home. Then she explained to my mom that i was a totally different person at school as people depends on me and seems like i know all of those general knowledge that there was a time, even my schoolmates asked me who's the most well known and owned a good reputation orthopedic in the city. I was only 17 that time, but i know the answer to that. wtf.
Back in 199s, My auntie who's not my real auntie but someone related to my grandpa, took care of me very well and she was there during my terrible twos. I could see in pictures that i loved her so much. I remembered vaguely that there was a time where she never come home for a long time, and in a blink of eye, she got married. She had a baby and in another while, all i could remember was i held my dad's hand tight walking down the hospital aisle and got to her room. She was laying on the bed with lots of IV drips. Her face looked pale and she tried to reach my hand but i refused to. She's different and to me she was scary. She tried her best to smile and say it's okay i'm not contagious. As a little brat that didn't understand anything, i went back home and tried my best to not to think of her and she's gone. Cancer ate her all up. There was nothing left to fight for. All i was being told is only Nini yiyi won't come back home anymore. Thomas' now motherless. She went to heaven. It took me more than 7 years to really understand what was going on at that time. Cause when i was in my primary school, another auntie of mine ( dad's sister ) had tumor in her stomach. That time i was big enough to learn things from biology already. She had like two more years to live before finally cancer came and there you go, she's gone too. Koko's mom too, survived the whole cancer for 10 years before she really give up and bye bye. Koko's mom tho, i was there with her for few days in Singapore during her chemo session, she looked so old, can't swallow anything and how i remembered she only could eat ice cube cause that's the only thing she can eat without throwing up. She didn't give up there, she believed God could help her and she believed that's nothing's stronger than your will to heal that's gonna help. Seeing many of mine gone rotten up for cancer, till now i still believed that when you're diagnosed with cancer, you can't go anywhere. It's like time ticking bomb to let you know that you'll die sooner than anyone else around you. The reminder to life your life to the fullest is nice, the pain and hospital bills are not.
On 2006, my grandpa went to Penang and undergone two surgeries at once. Nose & Heart surgery. His nose had that a bunch of excess swelling layer which caused his nostrils to be small and it's hard for him to breathe from time to time. I'm not sure my grandpa's by pass surgery is the first version or he had a special case. Cause i remembered that he told me doctor took some of his veins from his leg and put it up on his heart. And yea, he had that scar on his heart, one vertical line and two small dots below the line, and one each on his legs. It gave him extra more than 5 years to live, i have to admit. Cause post-surgery, my mom and my aunties took care of him very well. And there was me being a mini nightingale. We even had a book which recorded the time and how much water he drank. Giving him medicines, change his dressing, make sure he didn't lie down on the bed right after taking meds or eating, and all those routines which a nurse does. Making sure he blows on that tube with balls everyday and you know what, i secretly like to blow the balls up till the max. Of course without my mom, grandma and auntie's knowing. Whenever there's only me and my grandpa in the room, i took it out and tried my best to blow it and somehow my grandpa found it entertaining too. We would laugh together upon me blowing the tube. :)
This is it. lol.
Grandpa did very well after the surgery and few years later, my grandma fell down in the bathroom over her Tanjung Balai house, it was heartbreaking. I swear. Why? Usually everytime they come down from Tanjung Balai to Medan, i would run my ass downstairs to greet and hug them. That one time they came back, she pushed me off while crying. I was so sad wtf i swear. Later on, my dad explained to me, my grandma is sad cause she couldn't move her body comfortably and she's sorta insecure, that's why she's unhappy this time. Woops, missing my grandma now. :(
There was once i thought i'm going to lose my mom. Dad was out of town, my mom told us that she's feeling not well. Her stomach is in a severe pain, she said. She thought the pain came from her gastric which is an usual thing. WHO KNOWS THE NIGHT ON HER WAY TO THE TOILET SHE COLLAPSED IN FRONT OF MY EYES OMGWTF. My sisters kept on waking her up and long story short, our family doctor came and he said that we should admit my mom to the hospital. Okay, this is kinda dramatic cause mom's bedroom was on the third floor, dad was not around. We couldn't carry her all the way down. I mean, they couldn't. Cause i was too shocked to say even a word and too small to do so. We called our uncle which happens to live nearby. He carried my mom all the way down and my auntie was ready to drive the car away. Back then, my hometown's ambulance is not that trustworthy. I WANTED TO JOIN TO THE HOSPITAL but everybody say no at the same time. Melancholically, i shouted at my sisters to take care of my mom while tears dropped from my face wtf. Till now i never want to bring this story up to family conversation as it's way too embarrassing WTF. I prayed so hard you know, till after mom went back home, still couldn't find the problem as the pain come and go. Mom asked us girls to come closer to her as she was laying down on her bed and told us that she had prepared her diamonds and stuff for us. All only for us averagely. Gembul broke into tears and said that overseas doctor could heal mom and so on. True that, Penang doctor found out that mom had gallstones and after the surgery, she recovered and continue being a supermom for us.
Dad too, gave me lotsa mini heart attacks as when he's in pain, he won't tell anyone. Just. Like. Me. I'm not sure whether my mind is full of negativity or what, but whenever my loved ones are in pain, i pray to God that this shall not be the end of their lives and please take mine instead. I was too young back then, to fully understand how unfair life could be and even knowing that you're living an unfair life, there's nothing you can do about it except believe that God will help you through your day as we, humans have limitation. Ok enough preaching.
I didn't get these major throwback sequences until recently, my uncle (over Melbourne) had a car accident. He's 70 sth. He got some bone fractures which is pretty serious. He slept for a day in ICU, cause he had some surgery to stop the blood and so on. My auntie which is a very kind person kept on feeding me some food. I had no choice than revealing that i don't eat at the hospital. I just can't.
Honestly speaking, I can't even pee at the hospital toilet. There was one time i was taking care of my grandpa in the hospital that i didn't pee for the whole day. How stubborn i was wtf. BUT, i cannot do it that way. So, everytime my grandpa's staying in the same room for more than 3 days, i started to drink some water in the room wtf and some food is okay. BUT NEVER THE TOILET. until his very last days at the hospital, i got no choice but to shower before work cause home was quite far from the hospital last time. I did shower. All that i could think of is because i love him that's why i'm doing it. Otherwise, without agreeing to shower in the morning, mom won't let me company my grandpa overnight. I put on some hotel slip ons to shower wtf. STILL, never pee in their toilet. wtf. Later that i know that actually my mom cleaned the bathroom for me before i showered. And i never even hang my towel against the wall wtf. I know, hospital should be the cleanest aka germs-free but i just cannot. Idk why. That's also why i could never be a doctor. wtf. Firstly cause i'm not good at math. Back home, the exam for medical school include some maths. Secondly cause i'll be too emotional if my patient ever die. Thirdly i'm a part-time hygiene freak.
Melbourne hospital is different with the one back home. THATS OBVIOUS OK I KNOW. The one that my uncle was admitted to was Alfred Hospital. My cousin kept on raving about how delicious the food are comparing to other hospitals. Okay, so for anyone working nearby Commercial Road, you can stop by Alfred Hospital's cafetaria during lunch time.
I visited my uncle on his second day, after his surgery. the ICU here is different with the one in Singapore or back home. It is ultra spacious and they sectioned it to many wards. Still, if the patient is unconscious, one nurse is assigned on that one patient. If patient is unconscious, then 1 nurse for two patients. Anyways, i remembered ICU back home, you must wear the green gown and cap. Not here tho, not sure why. Ehrm, cause the ICU is ultra spacious, i managed to secretly take pictures of the hospital documents cause i need to show my cousin. And i did sneak into the wrong ward too. lol. There was once during my visit to the hospital, my auntie asked me why i didn't wanna be a nurse. I told her, i would like to but i couldn't bear having to clean the patient's dump and shower them. Who knows the day after that, i had to help my uncle carry his dump off to the floor. He couldn't wait any longer for the nurse that he had to pass me the bucket and the rest is history. It's not a bucket nor a tray.
Back in 199s, My auntie who's not my real auntie but someone related to my grandpa, took care of me very well and she was there during my terrible twos. I could see in pictures that i loved her so much. I remembered vaguely that there was a time where she never come home for a long time, and in a blink of eye, she got married. She had a baby and in another while, all i could remember was i held my dad's hand tight walking down the hospital aisle and got to her room. She was laying on the bed with lots of IV drips. Her face looked pale and she tried to reach my hand but i refused to. She's different and to me she was scary. She tried her best to smile and say it's okay i'm not contagious. As a little brat that didn't understand anything, i went back home and tried my best to not to think of her and she's gone. Cancer ate her all up. There was nothing left to fight for. All i was being told is only Nini yiyi won't come back home anymore. Thomas' now motherless. She went to heaven. It took me more than 7 years to really understand what was going on at that time. Cause when i was in my primary school, another auntie of mine ( dad's sister ) had tumor in her stomach. That time i was big enough to learn things from biology already. She had like two more years to live before finally cancer came and there you go, she's gone too. Koko's mom too, survived the whole cancer for 10 years before she really give up and bye bye. Koko's mom tho, i was there with her for few days in Singapore during her chemo session, she looked so old, can't swallow anything and how i remembered she only could eat ice cube cause that's the only thing she can eat without throwing up. She didn't give up there, she believed God could help her and she believed that's nothing's stronger than your will to heal that's gonna help. Seeing many of mine gone rotten up for cancer, till now i still believed that when you're diagnosed with cancer, you can't go anywhere. It's like time ticking bomb to let you know that you'll die sooner than anyone else around you. The reminder to life your life to the fullest is nice, the pain and hospital bills are not.
On 2006, my grandpa went to Penang and undergone two surgeries at once. Nose & Heart surgery. His nose had that a bunch of excess swelling layer which caused his nostrils to be small and it's hard for him to breathe from time to time. I'm not sure my grandpa's by pass surgery is the first version or he had a special case. Cause i remembered that he told me doctor took some of his veins from his leg and put it up on his heart. And yea, he had that scar on his heart, one vertical line and two small dots below the line, and one each on his legs. It gave him extra more than 5 years to live, i have to admit. Cause post-surgery, my mom and my aunties took care of him very well. And there was me being a mini nightingale. We even had a book which recorded the time and how much water he drank. Giving him medicines, change his dressing, make sure he didn't lie down on the bed right after taking meds or eating, and all those routines which a nurse does. Making sure he blows on that tube with balls everyday and you know what, i secretly like to blow the balls up till the max. Of course without my mom, grandma and auntie's knowing. Whenever there's only me and my grandpa in the room, i took it out and tried my best to blow it and somehow my grandpa found it entertaining too. We would laugh together upon me blowing the tube. :)
Grandpa did very well after the surgery and few years later, my grandma fell down in the bathroom over her Tanjung Balai house, it was heartbreaking. I swear. Why? Usually everytime they come down from Tanjung Balai to Medan, i would run my ass downstairs to greet and hug them. That one time they came back, she pushed me off while crying. I was so sad wtf i swear. Later on, my dad explained to me, my grandma is sad cause she couldn't move her body comfortably and she's sorta insecure, that's why she's unhappy this time. Woops, missing my grandma now. :(
There was once i thought i'm going to lose my mom. Dad was out of town, my mom told us that she's feeling not well. Her stomach is in a severe pain, she said. She thought the pain came from her gastric which is an usual thing. WHO KNOWS THE NIGHT ON HER WAY TO THE TOILET SHE COLLAPSED IN FRONT OF MY EYES OMGWTF. My sisters kept on waking her up and long story short, our family doctor came and he said that we should admit my mom to the hospital. Okay, this is kinda dramatic cause mom's bedroom was on the third floor, dad was not around. We couldn't carry her all the way down. I mean, they couldn't. Cause i was too shocked to say even a word and too small to do so. We called our uncle which happens to live nearby. He carried my mom all the way down and my auntie was ready to drive the car away. Back then, my hometown's ambulance is not that trustworthy. I WANTED TO JOIN TO THE HOSPITAL but everybody say no at the same time. Melancholically, i shouted at my sisters to take care of my mom while tears dropped from my face wtf. Till now i never want to bring this story up to family conversation as it's way too embarrassing WTF. I prayed so hard you know, till after mom went back home, still couldn't find the problem as the pain come and go. Mom asked us girls to come closer to her as she was laying down on her bed and told us that she had prepared her diamonds and stuff for us. All only for us averagely. Gembul broke into tears and said that overseas doctor could heal mom and so on. True that, Penang doctor found out that mom had gallstones and after the surgery, she recovered and continue being a supermom for us.
Dad too, gave me lotsa mini heart attacks as when he's in pain, he won't tell anyone. Just. Like. Me. I'm not sure whether my mind is full of negativity or what, but whenever my loved ones are in pain, i pray to God that this shall not be the end of their lives and please take mine instead. I was too young back then, to fully understand how unfair life could be and even knowing that you're living an unfair life, there's nothing you can do about it except believe that God will help you through your day as we, humans have limitation. Ok enough preaching.
I didn't get these major throwback sequences until recently, my uncle (over Melbourne) had a car accident. He's 70 sth. He got some bone fractures which is pretty serious. He slept for a day in ICU, cause he had some surgery to stop the blood and so on. My auntie which is a very kind person kept on feeding me some food. I had no choice than revealing that i don't eat at the hospital. I just can't.
Honestly speaking, I can't even pee at the hospital toilet. There was one time i was taking care of my grandpa in the hospital that i didn't pee for the whole day. How stubborn i was wtf. BUT, i cannot do it that way. So, everytime my grandpa's staying in the same room for more than 3 days, i started to drink some water in the room wtf and some food is okay. BUT NEVER THE TOILET. until his very last days at the hospital, i got no choice but to shower before work cause home was quite far from the hospital last time. I did shower. All that i could think of is because i love him that's why i'm doing it. Otherwise, without agreeing to shower in the morning, mom won't let me company my grandpa overnight. I put on some hotel slip ons to shower wtf. STILL, never pee in their toilet. wtf. Later that i know that actually my mom cleaned the bathroom for me before i showered. And i never even hang my towel against the wall wtf. I know, hospital should be the cleanest aka germs-free but i just cannot. Idk why. That's also why i could never be a doctor. wtf. Firstly cause i'm not good at math. Back home, the exam for medical school include some maths. Secondly cause i'll be too emotional if my patient ever die. Thirdly i'm a part-time hygiene freak.
Melbourne hospital is different with the one back home. THATS OBVIOUS OK I KNOW. The one that my uncle was admitted to was Alfred Hospital. My cousin kept on raving about how delicious the food are comparing to other hospitals. Okay, so for anyone working nearby Commercial Road, you can stop by Alfred Hospital's cafetaria during lunch time.
I visited my uncle on his second day, after his surgery. the ICU here is different with the one in Singapore or back home. It is ultra spacious and they sectioned it to many wards. Still, if the patient is unconscious, one nurse is assigned on that one patient. If patient is unconscious, then 1 nurse for two patients. Anyways, i remembered ICU back home, you must wear the green gown and cap. Not here tho, not sure why. Ehrm, cause the ICU is ultra spacious, i managed to secretly take pictures of the hospital documents cause i need to show my cousin. And i did sneak into the wrong ward too. lol. There was once during my visit to the hospital, my auntie asked me why i didn't wanna be a nurse. I told her, i would like to but i couldn't bear having to clean the patient's dump and shower them. Who knows the day after that, i had to help my uncle carry his dump off to the floor. He couldn't wait any longer for the nurse that he had to pass me the bucket and the rest is history. It's not a bucket nor a tray.
It's this thing! I googled potty for patients lol. So according to my uncle with pelvic fracture, sitting to long on this potty hurts. We waited for the nurse to wipe him for 15 mins but nurse is busy. ( He was moved to the regular ward already) He told me that he's in pain and couldn't wait anymore. He asked me to bring him some towel. So did I. Then he handed me this potty with the brown thing inside which neaaaaaaaaaaarly made me vomit but i didn't cause i don't wanna hurt his feelings. Guess what? My uncle's english is not that good so at the end, i'm the only one who got scolded by the nurse. She told us that we should've waited for her. (: I was too busy to get the potty outta my mind that I didn't argue with the nurse anymore. I did apologise indeed. Many things happened during his hospital stay, i'll save it for next time.
Last but not least, do you understand why afterall of these times, i'm not a medical student? Clear nuff.
Xoxo,
Frl's in a huge dilemma.
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