fall rain love

Well well well where to start from.  I have terrible memory.  I’m recapping life in Australia for the last five years.  I’m grateful.  I’m moody. 

Dear you, Since you have short term memory loss, and seems to change phone every two years, here’s the half end of 2017 because it seems like you’re due for a new phone. Oh Love, you’re supposed to move to Tasmania with your sister this time around, but you just dodged it like a pro. You get to remain in Melbie, and you thought you were happy.  got to watch GD concert, paid the ticket with my own money! DAMN IT FEELS GOOD. Hahahahaha, after the emotional breakup that we had, he was just the most full of surprise man. I never really fancy flowers, but he put this in the toilet because I really fancy my toilet time. Hahhahaa.   Here, just in case you’re wondering where all the money that you earned went. It is kinda embarrasing to post my hanging out pictures out, but here’s the drinks, feels right. Nothing else.  Alll these time, money earned money wasted on drinks and hanging out. Boy glad it was not long enough to turn me...

2.48 AM Melbourne, 3053 I cant seem to just fall asleep. Read through my previous posts, I think I have this personality disorder wtf. Or is it my brain, cause i do not think that I could write that sort of stuff. Wtf.  Nevermind.  I don't know why people like to make their own "truth" regarding someone else's life without even asking or telling the person about it. I mean yea, sometimes they do it because they care, but please, can you mind your own life first.. Why speak bad of people when you don't have the right to. I used to not care about this, but I can't take it when the people i love are hurt by these small things. They are suffering and suffered enough. Come to think of it. Think deeply and freely. Have I ever said anything bad eventhough I seen, and still seeing a lot of things? 

It has been four months since my last post, and that four months, my life has been going on a some how nonstop roller coaster ride. There's always a lot that I've been wanting to pour out. Been avoiding it to live a less drama-queeny life. But now, I'll take it as inevitable. My life is just always full of colours and excitement, and nowadays with time bombs that sometimes sparks and shine beautifully. Despite shit happened and still happens, I'm actually Grateful for being able to travel a lot this year, well still like around Victoria but the trips were all superb, super blessed for beautifully made Victoria. Precisely I went to Mount Buller, Philip Island, and Great Ocean Road. Surely will blog about all of these places when I have time.. Sunday night my dad broke the news, it is crystal clear now. and i can't run away from it. worst part is i don't even have the guts to cry, or i'm simply that strong. everything that i had built in Melbourne will be ...

I spent my childhood in a country where the eruption of Krakatoa happened. If you're wondering what's Krakatoa, go on and click  here Well now I have to admit that i was a little brat who longed for earthquake during school time so everyone can go home. I can't remember precisely but the earthquake that got me in awe was the Nias Tsunami. TVs and Newspapers talked about it, even the TV Crew cried in front of the camera. I had new friends from Nias who survived and moved to my school. I was still too young back then to realize how an earthquake can cause pain and sadness in someone. Brainless it is wtf. Till today, I was enjoying a bowl of Indomie and quality time with my friends in a karaoke bar. All of sudden, we saw everyone running away from the aisle, I was insensitive again, wtf sorry, but one of my friends who sat nearby the aisle door shouted "COMEON! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!" I panicked too so four of us made our way to the front. The tremors were real like ...

Exhausted from endless expectation. Why can't people just be grateful for what they have and stop asking for change. If you're wondering where i have been, the whole past two months have been up and down, no words to describe what's happening. Some days i really want to bawl it out but then my life is not a game which i can restart. So yea, been choosing to not make any speeches that i would regret. Smile, and be faithful cause the Creator will be with you.  But then.. Lucy always thought that she should not be here the first place.. Here she is, sucking it all up and cry to sleep.  Oh, Poor Little Lucy. 

Following the quote "if it doesn't bother you till the next day, don't bother thinking of it" Ready to pen them down yet my fingers are stuck between the keyboards not knowing where to start from. Too young to determine the future, yet too fragile to be broken. In this situation, mind races to everywhere, worst to worst, stumbled upon the past which thee had a hard time letting go. Been taking happiness for granted though if it's meant to be then it is. One day, there's a kid, her name is Lucy. Lucy loves lollipop. But due to Lucy's health, she is banned from lollipop. Yet, everyday on her way to school, she sadly stare at other kids, cheerfully having their lollipop while talking to other friends about the flavor. She is isolated from the world and decided to go on without lollipop. Lollipop problem is solved. Cause Lucy is a strong girl and Lollipop doesn't have feelings. No one wants to hang out with Lucy cause she didn't have lollipop in her ch...

Woke up super early this morning. Being subjective, it was 7.30am. Daydream on my way to city, and off to swimming. Melbourne City Baths is offering $30 for 30 days membership so I thought why not, I love swimming anyways. Reality is i havent exercise in a while that my first swim after almost a year not going, i nearly fainted in the shower and took a nap right away when i see bed. Due to my tight schedule, today is my second dip. Oh Lord I unconsciously had my period lol. Nope guys, there's no such thing as red blood in the pool or so.  Did five fast and six slow laps. I planned to increase speed daily but with period days, i guess i can't dip tomorrow. Its okay.  Finished early so I went to Aldi to buy some honey and lemon for Jason since He said he had sore throat last night. I know i'm so caring. Dating him is like living in reality. Yep im being sacrastic. Me: Drink this okay, good for sore throat Jason: whats this * looking furious and curious* Me: honey le...

I never mentioned this before but five years ago, I stopped eating satay. Then red meat, gradually ended up stop from eating all kinds of animals. Just because I was a teenager and unable to provide three meals all by myself. I didn't refrain from eating chicken flavoured soup or any veggies served with meat. I answered lotsa questions regarding why I became a lacto-ovo vegetarian. My typical answer will be like, I used to eat anything, I remember sitting on grandpa's lap enjoying peking duck and the bun. yum. Hongkong was the most delicious country. Yum cha every morning like we don't have to worry bout nothing. (I had to mention Hongkong as my mom agrees that i ate too much pork ribs and all of those animals that they serve and their body parts, then i had a red meat trauma. LOL. wrong, guys.) but then one day i woke up realising that animals are not meant to be eaten so i stopped. hehe. Meanwhile, THE TRUE AND SUPER DETAILED STORY: Back then, my fave food was the Sate ...

Time bring people closer yet further.  Where is the spark joy? Used to be there whenever eyes meet another pair of eyes. Thou shalt not take the happiness for granted again. Is this what they always say about getting way to comfy? True colours are respected. But where's the smile. Where's the spark joy. Where? Time is going to determine what is going to happen.

Still can't get over last night.Loud music is addictive, yes. But on some point you just can't ignore what's going on, like how the guards took a glance at everybody's movement. No offense but there were too many guys who were trying to take advantage of the situation. If you know what I mean.. When you're there, you can tell which one is just trying to blend in and which one is dangerous wtf. There's one asian guard recognised me and my friends cause he kept checking on us. Double wtf. I rarely remember people's face but uh, he got the hottie shoulder and those abs which my boyfriend used to have so yea i remember him too. One of my friend even got uncomfortable, and thats a wrap of the night!

Well, i'm nineteen when i'm writing this. So much happening for a nineteen years old girl to know and understand. Yet, some things will just gone with the wind. Some will eventually scar you for life and so on.. Dear Dian, If you ever get the chance to read this, firstly you need to be grateful to True Source as you're still alive by now. HAHAHAHA. Secondly, you need to know why a nineteen years old you wrote this kind of letter. Earlier today, your sis scolded her sons and it was heartbreaking. I couldn't say anything since it's her kids and she got the right to educate them in her very own way. Anyhow today I learnt to not to be like her when i grow up, cause remember you got scarred somehow about your childhood. You didn't want that to happen to your kids, don't you? After reading all of these paragraph, you're still not married yet, come back next time. wtf. or if you've been trying but you're not having babies yet, then make another serie...

I need to write. I need to write. That's what i've been thinking. My parents are over here, for like.. 3 months. That explain why I'm doing school when everybody's having their holiday. Cause i don't wanna get wasted yo. Turns out it has been the busiest three weeks in my life. I just hope that everything would be normal soon. Not that i mind living a busy life but.. I mind how it affects my mind and soul. And not being able to spend more time with loved ones. Tell you what. It's the 6th day i've been taking carbs all day, you name it wtf i got it all over my stomach. Bread toast rice noodle thin noodle egg noodle thick noodle lolll brb praying. I feel guilty about how i'm taking God's blessing as granted. .... It's been a while since i pray or even walk or even say Grace. I got too caught up with my life yo. Anyway, i'm 19 this year and 20 next year.. And i don't even own anything. Not even a house or a car or lots of savings. Wtf. A...

Have you ever do something that you shouldn't do? Not because it's against law or something serious like that but you just need to know how it feels after doing that and you ended up having the thing lingering on your mind all day long. Often happened in my past few relationships, my curiosity led me to lotsa things that i shouldn't have known. The fact that i could just live happily and love lavishly if i didn't do it, i totally ignored it. I just had to do it as when i set my mind that i should do the thing, i'll do it. Funny thing is no matter how i love or appreciate that person, the feeling is just gone in a snap.

what if i tell you.. first few hours after finished watching the last episode, i thought someone might just kill me just because of they feel like to. wtf but really. i even cried cause when i woke up, i was home alone. dialed my bf to come, turns out that he's late as ever that i have to rush to see the kitchen boys. Later that day, i had to throw tantrum cause of something that the anxiety gone with the wind. When the night comes, i set it up to myself that it's all only in my mind. wtf and now i'm stress free. SPOILER ALERT!! . . . . I was excited to watch at first but then when i realised that all of the victims are mostly young and innocent GIRLS and there were mostly no motives at all. THE cases happened cause the SUSPECT has desire to kill or even power to protect themselves. Which is actually quite realistic. What i cannot accept the most is how the current detective communicate with the past detective and actually the future might change if they even ...

18-21 November 2013 Dad got some work to do around Parapat, so mama and I tagged along. From Medan, it takes around 4 hrs drive back then. Not sure about now, maybe after three years, some changes are made? What's famous about this Lake is it is the largest lake in Southest Asia and were made from eruption and the cone of the volcano collapsed and made the Samosir Island, which is just on the centre of Danau Toba. To reach Samosir Island, you must ride on a ferry. I went there once or twice for school excursion.   I was so obsessed with my ring back then.   Even three years ago, i couldn't open my eyes for the sunshine. lol. Fifteen minutes drive from parapat, we visited the detention house of the very first president of Indonesia, Soekarno. Due to political reasons back then, he had to move here for awhile. If i am not mistaken, it should be around 1946-1948, just a few years after Indonesia proclaimed INDEPENDENcy and were still fighting fo...

So after like one year or so i finally bother to change the timezone and set up the location. Location is unnecessary, i just wanted to try it out. time really flies, it's halfway to 2017 already. Been lacking out of praying these days, not that i'm not grateful but . . . . . . OKAY OKAY. I ALWAYS TAKE BEING BLESSED AS GRANTED till now's there's a reason to pray and apologise again. This cycle, over and over again. Grateful->Blessed->Always Blessed->Starting to take it for granted(never say Grace nor pray, etc)-> unpleasant thing happened-> Seek for help->Grateful Then one thing that i realise that, no matter how we always forget about God(or whoever you believed in), when you seek for help, God's always ready for you, ignoring the fact that you're -ehem- less unfaithful. Well, that happens to me. all the time. Speaking of which, I'm now into Signal, another nerve wrecking Korean Drama by tVn. On ep 9 now, i find the movie really scar...